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They have a DIAL a PRAYER for EPA officials now. You dial and it rings, and rings, and rings but nobody will answer. Eventually, it forwards you to another line where it beeps before you can leave a message.
Architects and contractors are a lot alike in some situations. Like when a building is collapsing on top of them.
If you don't have a tolerance for turbulence, don't even think about working in IT.
Regarding Meeting success:
If you want to be seen – please keep standing.
If you want to be heard – please speak up.
If you want to be successful – please shut up.
The Xmas party is when someone finally asks, “How long has your boss been drinking like that?” My boss after 6 martinis looks at the Xmas tree and asks, “How many years ago did we plant that tree in that floor.”
I don't know anything about GPS. I don't even know when to change the oil.
This project had so many late attendees at their daily meetings that they open at 8AM sharp and ended at 11:30AM dull.
Never argue with a fool-people might know the difference.
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A partner bought a beautiful gravestone for his late partner. Its wording read, "Rest in Peace-Until We Meet Again" AUG
Getting our oldest partner a cell phone that sends Emails and also is a camera is a great gift - three sure bets to confuse him.
Your office is a horrible mess and a client comes walking into the door, is suggest you greet her with, " Who could have done this we don't have any enemies?”
Cell phones are wonderful... when you can find them.
My boss is so cheap. Do you know what he gave me for Xmas? A Coffee Bag. For Secretary’s Day? A Mug. I gave it back to him on Bosses Day, in a surefooted upward enema motion.
Americans are spending $380 billion yearly on gambling and that doesn't include construction projects.
Business developer's Lament: I give the same pep talk before each presentation over and over, but it works better when my people are better than the competition's people.
Everyone works during the summer. Some kids look so young. When they say, "Good morning." all I can muster up is” Good luck with theyour zits."
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