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Future News
Year 2091- Atlanta Oceanfront Developers Reject the Walled City Approach
Claiming that building a wall around the oncoming ocean would destroy the current suburban housing values, the Atlanta Ocean Front Developers Association called for more ideas to save the existing oceanfront homes while protecting Atlanta from ocean creep. Walled city advocates suggested that these outskirt homes be put on the new mega floats and put out to sea with the advantage of getting these homeowners out of the Atlanta District while keeping them on top of the world of nature they most adore.
2081- Great Apple Wall Needs Repairs
New York City is applying for $423 billion to make repairs in the dike/walls that have protected the city since the “Great Ocean Inundation” of 2046. Apparently, the Great Big Apple Wall has been seeping at the core. Many Windbelt congressmen have already stated their opposition citing that the funds could be spent in more reputable places like sunny South Dakota. Said Senator Boone Pickens IV, (R-Neb),”Certainly supporting the NY Times and Trust Street (formerly Wall Street) is a black hole. We can teleport the whole bunch to new housing and offices in Utah or Nebraska for less money."
Year 2046- Contractor Mental Health
Contractor associations urged passing the $245 million Contractor Stress Management Assistance Program in front of the House today. Spokesperson for the associations also said that legally limiting mandatory bidding lists as big as 50 firms to 5 firms is a must or contractor voluntary hospitalizations will continue to overwhelm hospitals and swallow up the existing supply of tranquilizers and antidepressants. An ad hoc group of owner associations is opposing the measure declaring that no one ever gave them a break in stress management in the last 100 years.
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Our safety record has been so bad on-site that no one will deliver our emails here. AUG
When that building was finished, it was so ugly that the owner tried to collect on his accident insurance!
The length of any meeting should be directly proportionate to the capacity of the smallest bladder in the room. AUG
Getting in Heaven First A rabbi, a minister, and an architect arrived in heaven at the same time. There being room for only one that day, St. Peter turned down the men of the cloth. Opening the door wide for the architect, he said, “You have scared more Hell out of people with your estimates then they did with their Bibles!"
As a Woman general contractor, we are constantly fighting for respect. The last time people cared about respecting me was when I was a dishing out a cooked lunch for all the subs... And the next time they will care about me is when I die and come back as a football player.
I want to send my interior designers a grand gift. How could I wrap up a shop that sells imitation perfumes and knock-off purses?
I took my clients to the airport…a day early.
QC - A quality control committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
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